Finished vacation.
Good food with a mile swim.
Now to enter the real world.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
day 5
another good day. although i am a little frustrated.
the food thing has been going good. but i swear, according to the calories i need to lose weight, i can't eat ANYTHING except the very, very basic food. i just don't know if i can do that. it's one thing on vacation when nothing bad is around and i am away from the house all day. but back at home, not just with extra food around but eating off kids plates, etc. it just seems overwhelming to me.
and the exercise thing is overwhelming me too. i HATE running. HATE IT. i am not good at it. whenever i do it i feel like a big failure. and so i can't decide if i should keep it around or not. and i have enjoyed swimming on vacation but i don't know if i can do that at home. i feel like i am sort of flailing around when it comes to exercise.
so i have done good, but am not really feeling positive about going back home. i feel like the biggest loser people when they go home from the ranch.
and this whole thing is just foreign to me. it is so not where i thought i would be in life. this use to be my strong suit. and now, i am just a mess.
the food thing has been going good. but i swear, according to the calories i need to lose weight, i can't eat ANYTHING except the very, very basic food. i just don't know if i can do that. it's one thing on vacation when nothing bad is around and i am away from the house all day. but back at home, not just with extra food around but eating off kids plates, etc. it just seems overwhelming to me.
and the exercise thing is overwhelming me too. i HATE running. HATE IT. i am not good at it. whenever i do it i feel like a big failure. and so i can't decide if i should keep it around or not. and i have enjoyed swimming on vacation but i don't know if i can do that at home. i feel like i am sort of flailing around when it comes to exercise.
so i have done good, but am not really feeling positive about going back home. i feel like the biggest loser people when they go home from the ranch.
and this whole thing is just foreign to me. it is so not where i thought i would be in life. this use to be my strong suit. and now, i am just a mess.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
day 2
success!!!!!
had a great day of eating well. could have done without the pita chips. gosh, this losing weight stuff is hard. i entered in all the food into myfitnesspal.com and it was a very healthy day of eating. but if i hadn't of exercised i would have been over my calories! it is crazy. and the pita chips are what put me over the edge.
that's when i think...can i really do this? give up everything that is good, even the relatively healthy stuff???
however, i had a good day, capped off with a 1 mile swim in the pool and a 2 mile walk. eric did a great job of encouraging me which i love. i can't do this alone, i know that. of course, being on vacation and having him right next to me is wonderful, but not exactly reality. but hey, i'll take it right now.
it was a good reminder today that if i really want to lose weight i am going to have to MAJORLY change my eating habits and exercise every bit of 5 days a week. it's going to take some big steps if i want this. i am still trying to swallow that reality.
had a great day of eating well. could have done without the pita chips. gosh, this losing weight stuff is hard. i entered in all the food into myfitnesspal.com and it was a very healthy day of eating. but if i hadn't of exercised i would have been over my calories! it is crazy. and the pita chips are what put me over the edge.
that's when i think...can i really do this? give up everything that is good, even the relatively healthy stuff???
however, i had a good day, capped off with a 1 mile swim in the pool and a 2 mile walk. eric did a great job of encouraging me which i love. i can't do this alone, i know that. of course, being on vacation and having him right next to me is wonderful, but not exactly reality. but hey, i'll take it right now.
it was a good reminder today that if i really want to lose weight i am going to have to MAJORLY change my eating habits and exercise every bit of 5 days a week. it's going to take some big steps if i want this. i am still trying to swallow that reality.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
day 1
fail.
fail.
fail.
i am so tired of failing. did great today - breakfast. lunch we went to moe's and i don't think i had more than 3 chips. of course, i did have diet coke. which i am still not sure if i can give up. dinner was okay. had a few more sweet potato chips than i should have.
and then.................on vacation. and our kids made us some goodies. chocolate covered oreos and chocolate dipped strawberries. i went to town.
i had planned to not even bring them. but eric threw them in there. and plus, our kids made them and i feel like i have to at least try them. or else i have to lie and tell them i did. and so he goes to the shower and i eat. i think that's bad - sneaky eating. i think that might be sign there is a problem here.
ugh. i hate myself. why did i do that? well, because i wanted to. and that's where my struggle is. i want it and yet i don't want it.
so i am laying here feeling just hating myself and my continual failures. i feel like i just can't do this. and i have never had anything in life that i just couldn't do.
so frustrating.
starting again tomorrow. maybe i'll get through ONE day and do well.
plan for tomorrow...
kashi with yogurt
sandwich and fruit
voila
exercise
please God. i need your help!!!!!
fail.
fail.
i am so tired of failing. did great today - breakfast. lunch we went to moe's and i don't think i had more than 3 chips. of course, i did have diet coke. which i am still not sure if i can give up. dinner was okay. had a few more sweet potato chips than i should have.
and then.................on vacation. and our kids made us some goodies. chocolate covered oreos and chocolate dipped strawberries. i went to town.
i had planned to not even bring them. but eric threw them in there. and plus, our kids made them and i feel like i have to at least try them. or else i have to lie and tell them i did. and so he goes to the shower and i eat. i think that's bad - sneaky eating. i think that might be sign there is a problem here.
ugh. i hate myself. why did i do that? well, because i wanted to. and that's where my struggle is. i want it and yet i don't want it.
so i am laying here feeling just hating myself and my continual failures. i feel like i just can't do this. and i have never had anything in life that i just couldn't do.
so frustrating.
starting again tomorrow. maybe i'll get through ONE day and do well.
plan for tomorrow...
kashi with yogurt
sandwich and fruit
voila
exercise
please God. i need your help!!!!!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
a plan
Breakfast
Kashi with yogurt
Banana
Water
Lunch
Moe's with less cheese and no chips
Water...blah
Dinner
Taste unlimited - I have no idea what is there
No chips
No candy
No soda
Kashi with yogurt
Banana
Water
Lunch
Moe's with less cheese and no chips
Water...blah
Dinner
Taste unlimited - I have no idea what is there
No chips
No candy
No soda
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