Thursday, June 9, 2011

day 5

another good day.  although i am a little frustrated.

the food thing has been going good.  but i swear, according to the calories i need to lose weight, i can't eat ANYTHING except the very, very basic food.  i just don't know if i can do that.  it's one thing on vacation when nothing bad is around and i am away from the house all day.  but back at home, not just with extra food around but eating off kids plates, etc.  it just seems overwhelming to me.

and the exercise thing is overwhelming me too.  i HATE running.  HATE IT.  i am not good at it.  whenever i do it i feel like a big failure.  and so i can't decide if i should keep it around or not.  and i have enjoyed swimming on vacation but i don't know if i can do that at home.  i feel like i am sort of flailing around when it comes to exercise.

so i have done good, but am not really feeling positive about going back home.  i feel like the biggest loser people when they go home from the ranch.

and this whole thing is just foreign to me.  it is so not where i thought i would be in life.  this use to be my strong suit.  and now, i am just a mess.

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